Okay, so i've just deleted all of my previous entries, it took ages - but they had to go.
I was reading over them all - both the public & private ones - and they just seem to endlessly be so self loathing and failing.

anyway, i don't feel good today.
everythings a mess, and i'm struggling to cope both mentally and physically.
i must be at my heighest weight, its sickening.

i feel madly out of control, and i'm losing the will to live.

i don't really even feel like writting much today - thats how bad things have got.

the insomnia is going to be the death of me too, i swear.
i seem to spend the majority of my teenage years lying exhausted in bed trying to sleep, but its hopeless.

i hate everything at the moment,
i really need to get a grip and get my life back on track.